Days Go By

Yesterday, another picture-perfect day in Portland. Today, cloudy, but that's cool too. Spent last night and this morning clearing trash and junk out of the apartment. Today's goal: spend some quality time on creative writing (after I finish procrastinating and doodling around on LJ!).

Found a few of Stephanie's old books: 'The Western Wind', a book about writing poetry; a biography of Ken Kesey by Barry Leeds, autographed by the author; and 'The Recognitions' by William Gaddis. 'The Recognitions' and John Gardner's 'The Sunlight Dialogues' were two of Stephanie's favorite novels, along with several classics of the Beat movement such as Kerouac's 'On the Road'. I never shared Stephanie's appreciation for the Beats, but I did enjoy Gardner's short stories; I especially remember one (based on an event in Gardner's own life) about a boy who accidentally kills his brother with a piece of farm machinery.

Somehow, I was spared the passion for "intensity at any price" that so consumed Stephanie. What I'm left with instead is this obsessive sense of mission, or simply of duty, to try to put it all together, to make sense of the puzzle. All I'm left with is the pieces.