213 Things You Can't Do in the Army

... or, I strongly suspect, any other branch of the Armed Forces. Hat tip: Uncle Jimbo.

1. Not allowed to watch South Park when I'm supposed to be working.

2. My proper military title is 'Specialist Schwarz' not 'Princess Anastasia'.

3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.

4. Not allowed to challenge anyone's disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.

5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.

6. Not allowed to play 'Pulp Fiction' with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.

7. Not allowed to add 'In accordance with the prophesy' to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.

8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don't like to War Criminal posters.

9. Not allowed to title any product 'Get Over it'.

10. Not allowed to purchase anyone's soul on Government time.

11. Not allowed to join the communist party.

12. Not allowed to join any militia.

13. Not allowed to form any militia.

14. Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Sarajevo.

15. Not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to 'Sic Brass!'

16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my 'Sampson like powers'.

17. God may not contradict any of my orders.

18. May no longer perform my now (in)famous 'Barbie Girl Dance' while on duty.

19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I'm right.

20. Must not taunt the French any more.

21. Must attempt to not antagonize SAS.

22. Must never call an SAS a 'Wanker'.

23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they've been smoking crack.

24. Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if it's true.

...

Read the full list here.

Morning Report: April 12, 2005

Three suspected terrorists indicted. Dhiran Barot, Nadeem Tarmohammed and Qaisar Shaffi were indicted on charges of plotting terrorist actions against the New York Stock Exchange, the Citicorp Building in New York, the Prudential building in New Jersey, and the International Monetary Fund and World Bank in the District of Columbia, according to news reports. The suspects are being held in Britain, where they were arrested last year. The 32-year-old Barot, a Briton of Indian descent who converted to Islam some years ago, was charged with possessing reconnaissance plans for US interests and notebooks containing information on explosives and poisons - material deemed "of a kind likely to be useful to a person committing or preparing an act of terrorism." Barot is known variously as Abu Eisa al-Hindi, Abu Musa al-Hindi and Issa al-Britani, and is believed to have had close ties with Osama bin Laden. (CNN, MSNBC)

Wretchard: China and the poisoned pawn. Today's Belmont Club looks at the pros and cons, from Communist China's standpoint, of an "out of the blue" (OOTB) attack on Taiwan, versus a phased attack that would begin with a blockade and end with an invasion as a "coup de grace". Neither is a particularly attractive option for the Beijing regime: 'China's strategic choice then is between an OOTB pitting 5 or 6 lightly armed divisions against 12 Taiwanese to take advantage of surprise or to advance with a much larger force against up to 8 USN battlegroups. This is complicated by the fact that one US response to a Chinese blockade of Taiwan might include a counter-blockade of China's fuel imports. The growing Chinese dependence on Middle Eastern oil has a created a vulnerability that did not exist a decade ago.' Read the full analysis at the link. (Belmont Club)

Hezbollah drone penetrates Israeli airspace. Hezbollah flew another drone over Israel on Monday - the second such mission in five months. Debka reports: 'Israel confirms Hizballah drone penetrated Israeli airspace but reports it turned tail in seconds after air force fighters scrambled. According to Hizballah TV, unmanned spy vehicle photographed N. Israeli towns of Acre and Nahariya and returned to Lebanon undetected. DEBKAfile: Lebanese terrorist group timed action for Bush-Sharon talks in Texas Monday.' Ha'Aretz elaborates: 'The IDF said Hezbollah is resorting to gimmicks, because the political situation in the region does not permit it to carry out actual terror attacks. Hezbollah's television station Al-Manar reported last night that a drone had entered Israeli skies at 5:15 P.M. and had flown over the Nahariya, Acre and "18 other settlements in the territory of the Zionist enemy." Citizens in the Nahariya area detected the drone and reported it to police. The Air Force's anti-aircraft systems picked up the drone but did not fire rockets at it, and the F-16 planes did not hit it either. The Air Force admits an operational failure, which will be investigated. After the last incursion, in November 2004, the anti-aircraft systems were upgraded in the north. Yesterday's drone was apparently of the same make - Iranian - as the one flown in November. [Known as 'Mirsad-1' - aa.] Although capable of carrying explosives, Hezbollah has refrained from putting it to this use. IDF sources said the intelligence value of such a brief flight was limited. According to IDF officers, Hezbollah leader Sheikh Hassan Nasrallah wants to prove capable of action against Israel, yet escalation in the north would not serve the interests of his patron, Syria, which is under international pressure to withdraw from Lebanon. Nasrallah is therefore opting for provocative acts with propaganda value.' (Debka, Ha'Aretz)

We are Unitarian Jihad!

I know these people. (Hat tip: Mythus Mage.)

Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States. We are Unitarian Jihad. There is only God, unless there is more than one God. The vote of our God subcommittee is 10-8 in favor of one God, with two abstentions. Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation noted the possibility of there being no God at all, and his objection was noted with love by the secretary.

Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States! Too long has your attention been waylaid by the bright baubles of extremist thought. Too long have fundamentalist yahoos of all religions (except Buddhism -- 14-5 vote, no abstentions, fundamentalism subcommittee) made your head hurt. Too long have you been buffeted by angry people who think that God talks to them. You have a right to your moderation! You have the power to be calm! We will use the IED of truth to explode the SUV of dogmatic expression!

People of the United States, why is everyone yelling at you??? Whatever happened to ... you know, everything? ...

Read the whole thing at the link.

You can get your Unitarian Jihad name here.

If you have issues with orthodox Unitarian Jihad doctrine, you can use the First Reformed Unitarian Jihad name generator.

As for how to fit your Unitarian Jihad name on your name tag, there are no easy answers.

Unitarian Jihadism is a questioning faith.

Michael Totten Blogs from Lebanon

Portland's own Michael J. Totten is deeply involved in Spirit of America's activities, and he is now the voice of SoA's Lebanon blog. Visit the link to see amazing photos from Lebanon, learn about "Freedom Camp" and "Tennis for Peace", read tributes to Rafik Hariri, and get the latest on the upcoming National Unity demonstrations. And don't forget the most important part: make a donation to this noble cause at the link.

Althouse on Transgender Discrimination

Ann Althouse has an excellent post on public restrooms and gender/transgender discrimination here. Analyzing a New York appellate court's ruling aginst a transgendered plaintiff (Hispanic Aids Forum v. Estate of Joseph Bruno), which upheld the landlord's position that "If you're biologically a man, if you're born a man, then you use the men's room," Althouse notes that "This is denying people the right to chose which sex to identify with when they choose whether to use the men's or the women's room." In an update, she also notes a later amendment to the City law (a similar law was rejected on the State level) defining gender to include "a person's gender identity, self-image, appearance, behavior or expression, whether or not that gender identity, self-image, appearance, behavior or expression is different from that traditionally associated with the legal sex assigned to that person at birth.”

Read the whole thing at the link.

Neologisms

Or, words that should be but aren't:

espaminet: an internet cafe used by spammers

Nat Hentoff on Terri Schiavo, 2003

Nat Hentoff: Lying About Terri Schiavo

By Nat Hentoff
The Village Voice | November 10, 2003


I have covered highly visible, dramatic "right to die" cases—including those of Karen Ann Quinlan and Nancy Cruzan—for more than 25 years. Each time, most of the media, mirroring one another, have been shoddy and inaccurate.

The reporting on the fierce battle for the life of 39-year-old Terri Schiavo has been the worst case of this kind of journalistic malpractice I've seen.

On October 15, Terri's husband and legal guardian, Michael Schiavo, ordered the removal of her feeding tube. As she was dying, the Florida legislature and Governor Jeb Bush overruled her husband on October 21, and the gastric feeding tube has been reinserted pending further recourse to the court.

So intent is Michael Schiavo on having his wife die of starvation that one of his lawyers, after the governor's order to reconnect the feeding tube, faxed doctors in the county where the life-saving procedure was about to take place, threatening to sue any physician who reinserted a feeding tube. The husband had immediately gone to court to get a judge to revoke what the legislature and the governor had done.

The husband claims that he is honoring his marriage vows by carrying out the wishes of his wife that she not be kept alive by "artificial means." As I shall show, this hearsay "evidence" by the husband has been contradicted. The purportedly devoted husband, moreover, has been living with another woman since 1995. They have a child, with another on the way. Was that part of his marital vows?

For 13 years, Terri Schiavo has not been able to speak for herself. But she is not brain-dead, not in a comatose state, not terminal, and not connected to a respirator. If the feeding tube is removed, she will starve to death. Whatever she may or may not have said, did she consider food and water "artificial means?"

The media continually report that Terri is in a persistent vegetative state, and a number of neurologists and bioethicists have more than implied to the press that "persistent" is actually synonymous with "permanent." This is not true, as I shall factually demonstrate in upcoming columns. I will also provide statements from neurologists who say that if Terri were given the proper therapy—denied to her by her husband and guardian after he decided therapy was becoming too expensive despite $750,000 from a malpractice suit—she could learn to eat by herself and become more responsive. ...

Read the whole thing at the link.

Terri Schiavo, 1963-2005

She died today.

May she rest in peace.


This is not over.

"An Object of Beauty and Envy"

Syria's foremost heretic meditates on the role of individualism and creativity in this post. As America's civil rights leaders observed, "the personal is political" and vice versa. Be sure to read Amarji's poem (linked in the post). I was reminded of the Terry Gilliam movie "Brazil", in which the young man's struggles for identity and individuality are thwarted by the oedipal mother-state. Take some time with Amarji's writing, and think about the risks he is being forced to take, just for the privilege of trying to be human.

Best Anti-Feeding-Tube Post So Far

You already know I'm on the "Save Terri" side. But just so you know I'm keeping an open mind, I'm posting this Terri Schiavo FAQ page presented by the always sensible Ocean Guy. It addresses many of the questions raised by the "Save Terri" people. Who's right? I honestly can't say for sure. But why couldn't more of the "pull the feeding tube" folks have started with this?

I didn't start following the Schiavo case with any preconceptions or sympathies. As I've said before, I'm not a pro-life absolutist. But some serious questions were being raised about the Schiavo case, and they deserved serious answers. How hard could it have been for the other side to say, "Look, we understand your concerns, but it's not what you think. Here's why ... "

Ocean Guy doesn't spend a lot of time pontificating, he just says, "Go read this - you'll learn something." That's what I appreciate, and would have liked to see more of. Meanwhile, I'll be interested to see what the "Save Terri" side says in response to this.

Still More on Terri Schiavo

As you may have already figured out, I'm declining all those kind invitations to shut up.

I'm glad that MJ at Friday Fishwrap finds this amusing. I don't. In fact I think it's disgusting. Jon Stewart (consistently referring to "Terri Shyvo") thinks it's cute to comment on how many people are calling Terri by her first name, and wonders what all those people would call her if they actually knew her. Well, I don't know, but I bet they'd at least pronounce her f*cking name correctly. Moron.

Cox & Forkum disappoint as well.

On the bright side, Peggy Noonan has a splendid column about the culture of death. I really want to talk about this more (it'll get its own post), because I think it's critical for all of us liberals to understand the danger posed by those destructive demons that live at the heart of the far left. To want to reform society because you have a vision of a better world is one thing; to try to throw civilization into the abyss is something else. Here's Peggy Noonan:

I do not understand the emotionalism of the pull-the-tube people. What is driving their engagement? Is it because they are compassionate, and their hearts bleed at the thought that Mrs. Schiavo suffers? But throughout this case no one has testified that she is in persistent pain, as those with terminal cancer are.

If they care so much about her pain, why are they unconcerned at the suffering caused her by the denial of food and water? And why do those who argue for Mrs. Schiavo's death employ language and imagery that is so violent and aggressive? The chairman of the Democratic National Committee calls Republicans "brain dead." Michael Schiavo, the husband, calls House Majority Leader Tom DeLay "a slithering snake."

Everyone who has written in defense of Mrs. Schiavo's right to live has received e-mail blasts full of attacks that appear to have been dictated by the unstable and typed by the unhinged. On Democratic Underground they crowed about having "kicked the sh-- out of the fascists." On Tuesday James Carville's face was swept with a sneer so convulsive you could see his gums as he damned the Republicans trying to help Mrs. Schiavo. It would have seemed demonic if he weren't a buffoon.

Why are they so committed to this woman's death?

They seem to have fallen half in love with death.

Please go read the whole thing at the link.

And that's all I have on Terri Schiavo.

For now.

Terri Schiavo and Persons with Disabilities

From someone who knows a thing or two about disabilities, there is this:

Healthy people have a horror of disability. I feel this horror myself, and I am the parent of two children with autism. When my first son was diagnosed, my immediate reaction—this is intimate, but I have published one article revealing this—was that I needed to kill him and kill myself.

The thought that ran through my head, over and over again, was: “He has no life, and neither do I.”

I was in a clinical depression. By the next morning I was still in a clinical depression, but at least my mind had cleared on the rationality of two people needing to die because one small boy had been diagnosed with a developmental disability.

My psychiatrist talked me through.

“Why would you assume that your son will have an unhappy life?” she asked me.

...

My psychiatrist told me that there had been a fair amount of research done with disabled & mentally ill people—she had done some of it herself—and they all have the same level of well-being anyone else does. (People with clinical depression, she said, are the one exception. Extremely low ‘quality of life’ is almost the definition of depression.)

Since then I’ve followed this research, and it’s true of suddenly-disabled adults as well. After they adjust to their injuries, which seems to take two years’ time, they are as happy as anyone else. A healthy person will say that he would rather die than live life as a quadriplegic. But in life, people who become quadriplegics are like Christopher Reeve, not like the character in MILLION DOLLAR BABY.

The mistake we make is to experience our horror of disability, which I share, and our concern and care for their condition, which motivates those who wish to see Terri Schiavo’s feeding tube removed, as the emotion felt by the disabled person himself.

But ‘quality of life,’ like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. The fact that we are horrified by the sight of Christopher Reeve does not mean that Christopher Reeve is horrified by the sight of Christopher Reeve. And it is Christopher Reeve’s opinion that counts.

The same can be said of my own life, as a matter of fact. When people realize I have two children with autism they react with horror. I would, too, in their shoes! But I myself am not horrified. I’m as happy as anyone I know, and happier than some. This strange life I lead, which I wouldn’t recommend to anyone else, is normal to me.

This is from Catherine Johnson's guest post at Kesher Talk. I immediately thought of this post when I read Charles Krauthammer's column this morning. Even more interesting is something Catherine says elsewhere - and I hope she won't mind my paraphrasing it here: That even severely disabled people, after that two-year adjustment period, consider themselves fortunate by comparison with people even more gravely incapacitated. Now think about that and read the quadriplegic Krauthammer's opening sentence in his column:

If I were in Terri Schiavo's condition, I would not want a feeding tube.

Krauthammer makes this assertion with absolute confidence - as many of us would - because, like almost all of us, he shares this wonderful basic trait of human nature. He has the ability to see his life as blessed. And so, with almost no use of his arms and legs, he can look on Terri Schiavo and say: "Wow ... she's really got it bad! I wouldn't want to live her life!"

But Krauthammer possesses two other beautiful human traits as well: humility and compassion. He knows that he is not Terri Schiavo, and he wants her to have what is best for her. And so he immediately continues:

... But Terri Schiavo does not have the means to make her intentions known. We do not know what she would have wanted. We have nothing to go on. No living will, no advance directives, no durable power of attorney.

And if you haven't yet, go read his full column.

What Charles Krauthammer and Catherine Johnson both understand is that, no matter how unbearable another person's life may look to us, it is only the person living that life who actually knows.

Neo-Neocon
Kesher Talk
Charles Krauthammer